I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how unforgiving life is. How, if you want to do big things, you have to be prepared (not really) to be thrown into things.
I personally like to be prepared before I grow; I like to know exactly what I’m getting myself into and how exactly I can manage my way through that thing.
Life just doesn’t seem to work like that.
The funny thing about life is that it can’t be regulated. No matter how hard I try to gradually increase or decrease the amount of pressure that I place on myself, it never works the way that I want it to work.
I realized this a few days ago when I finished some work that I’d been doing for the past few months.
I mentioned this in a previous post, but at one of the companies that I’ve been working with, there was a slight misunderstanding.
There was a bit of confusion on pay and they thought that I was doing something that I genuinely wasn’t (there was a whole lot of confusion going on).
I took that misunderstanding as a sign. I figured that I’d been at the company for too long and that it was time to make a change; I then realized something else though.
After I “left” the company and decided to go off and do something different, I noticed how little any of the ideas that I had interested me.
I noticed that the things that I knew about had literally nothing to do with my end goal; I was simply floating waiting for something to happen.
The decision wasn’t there for me to make but due to stress, I was going to go off and force something to happen.
I’ve been thinking a lot about patience and how helpful it is. Think about it, at another job that I have, I was also considering forcing myself into growth; I was getting annoyed at the monotony and was ready to literally go off and get fired.
I was on the verge of not caring. What I realized though when I went in to work the day that I was considering doing that thing was that I would’ve made a terrible mistake. I would’ve made a terrible mistake all because I was ready to move on.
It would’ve been, for lack of a better word, stupid.
What I’ve learned is that decisions are not to be forced, they are to be made when they present themselves and not before.