I had a conversation with my mom not too long ago that didn’t really center around this topic, but, as is the nature of many of our conversations, briefly touched on it.
The reason why it happened in the first place was because a thought came up while we were on the topic of learning; I wondered why it was that a woman was so receptive of information and was willing to learn and receive help from another while a man seemingly dealt with the opposite dilemma.
Men have so hard of a time receiving help that it honestly makes no sense.
Why is that though?
My initial thought was
No matter how many times I’ve tried to help another(man) out, I’ve always been shot down.
I didn’t have the slightest clue as to why that was; I’ve seen men go do things that really made no sense(such as steal) rather than take help from me.
I’d like to think that it isn’t my appearance that’s putting them off to accepting my help and that they would just like to do things on their own.
The thing with that reasoning is that doing things on their own doesn’t really help them; they are placing themselves in extremely compromising positions when they try to do things without accepting help.
Maybe the man just wants to place themselves under stress; they don’t want to lower their sense of self-worth at all(ego).
EGO keeps us alive
What I realized is that Ego for the man is the thing that keeps them moving.
One doesn’t want to feel as if they need someone, they need to understand that they can do things on their own, which is the reason why they behave as such.
The world is also an unforgiving place; men who see weakness generally pounce on it. Not all men do this but, most.
With that, the EGO keeps one out a situation in which their worth isn’t recognized.
No one wants to feel unimportant and so, they must develop an EGO that protects them from situations in which they may be forced to feel such a way.
Leaders cannot seem incompetent
We(men) are supposed to come off as strong individuals.
We cannot look or feel inadequate or that will show up in our actions which is something that will be easily recognizable by those who follow us.
I believe that the fear is that those who follow us will quickly realize that we aren’t the “powerful” individual that we initially came off as being and don’t require the respect that we initially commanded.
That, my friends is total bs. People who dole off respect based off of someone’s ability are people who do not need to follow someone.
People such as those will quickly disrupt a system due to that quirk in their behavior.
Shorten it a bit
The thing is that we do not have to always be on edge.
We do not have to always feel the need to know everything because we simply don’t; to be honest, the belief that we do is one of the reasons why one isn’t able to achieve growth.
This doesn’t mean that we have to beat ourselves up or lose respect for ourselves, because we simply shouldn’t.
Instead, we should open ourselves to new information. Instead of being put off when someone is teaching you something, willingly accept it.
You may look like a student but, everyone was a student before they became a master.
The conversations that I have with my parents never cease to serve as anything short of enlightening.
The ego is an incredible thing that we human beings have; we can’t live without it, but, too much of it will do nothing but cause us to stagnate.
How do we get around this?
How do we find a balance between the ego that we need to really have confidence in our decisions and with ourselves, and the EGO that we have that causes us to no longer listen to anyone around us; the second level of ego mentioned is deadly.
The points mentioned above may shine a bit of light on this issue because, if gone unchecked, the ego will leave one being a genius in their own mind; no one else will be able to bring them back to reality and to the area that growth occurs in.
Below is an Info graphic discussing it a bit more in depth